Self care#
…is something that is way too often neglected by folks in our profession. The amount of times I’ve heard things along the lines of “I am mentally unwell” or morbid jokes about mental health at Mines is astounding. I think people push themselves so hard to reach a certain GPA and appease others, make a startup to make a living, whatever it is; to the point where they forget to care for themselves.
Self care can look like many different things: perhaps it’s sleeping in a half an hour (or sleeping at all!), getting a good meal, going for a walk, or anything that helps you feel good [1]. I am by no means a health expert, but I feel like this is important to bring up because it often gets neglected or brushed aside.
Caring for others#
Definitely care about yourself and treat yourself with kindness, but once you have stable foundations, it’s great to care about others too.
It is never a bad idea to check in with somebody. I don’t think there’s been one time where I’ve checked in with a friend and they haven’t been at least kind or respectful, if not grateful about it.
Through college, I think there were at least three instances where I had friends dealing with serious mental health issues [2], and I felt so unprepared. But the fact that you can simply be there for someone will help them more than you can ever imagine (which I have been told by people I’ve helped). Show compassion to them: imagine what you would need if you were in their situation. Be present and attentive with them.
Mindfulness#
The greatest act of self care I do on a regular basis is mindfulness meditations. Hear me out! I’m not trying to become a monk or sound “new-agey” nor do I sit in rooms humming like meditation is portrayed in the movies.
Mindfulness is all about noticing your thoughts and feelings in the present moment and questioning and observing the world thoughtfully. I’m not sure I could teach it to you in a couple paragraphs. Check out Healthy Minds below for what I think is the best program to learn.
Mindfulness is rooted in neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change over time. You can re-wire your brain to notice when you’re getting carried away or when you’re acting on impulses and urges when you don’t want to be. It’s like your brain is a muscle that you can train to be more mindful of the world around you.
Mindfulness meditation changed my life. I don’t worry about the future or past as much as I used to, I feel like I’m a better listener, and I feel like I can be so much more compassionate and understanding of others (and much, much more). As an aside, I don’t want to make it sound like some magic pill that will cure you of all ailments. I also feel like doing it with that motive degrades your experience as it’s more about how you actually feel. I just view the benefits as a positive side effect from mindful introspection.
I believe so much in meditation and mindfulness that I would like to offer up a few options that you could literally start in the next five minutes [3]:
Healthy Minds - free, out of a lab in Madison, WI called the Center for Healthy Minds, with some practices inspired by Tibetan Buddhism [4]. I’ve been using this app for about two years and I think it’s the best one; it also talks about the science behind the meditations they’re teaching you, which is great for us systematic engineers.
Smiling Mind - the first meditation app I used. It’s out of Australia, but as long as you don’t mind an Australian accent (I actually found it helped me listen and focus in guided meditation) it’s great!
Calm - paid, but I’ve heard great things about it.
Headspace - paid, but I think the most popular option nowadays along with Calm. One of my friends really enjoys this one, especially for sleep.
I’m really passionate about meditation, mindfulness, and the science behind it, as it has brought me so much calm and clarity in my life. Feel free to bring it up with me, I love to talk about it. It takes just a few minutes a day and has really positive effects if you stick with it. I hope you’ll give it a try!